11 signs you work in B2B marketing

We've all done it. Woken up on a Friday morning and totally forgotten who we are and what we do...

Although we can't help you with the the first problem, if you recognise the following 11 signs then you're almost definitely working for a business that makes commercial transactions with other businesses.

1. You've developed an aptitude for remembering acronyms. There aren't many other walks of work where a commonplace and meaningful sentence can be constructed almost entirely of acronyms: "In B2B, ABM requires MA, CRM, CMS, GA – occasionally even F2F." 

2. When the lion's share of your LinkedIn messages are enquiries as to how your company generates its leads. "Hi there, I was just wondering how your company generates its leads?" Not the most profound question, but at least they're usually polite.

3. An MA faux pas is the stuff of nightmares. Hi {FIRST_NAME|there}. It's absolutely gut wrenching; I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. 

4. You've developed a keen eye for noticing when someone doesn't fully understand what they're talking about (and have mastered the art of blagging yourself).

5. You've consumed your bodyweight in Danish pastries. Now I've nothing against them – some of my dearest friends are Danish pastries – but when you've eaten a delicatessen's worth in meetings, events and training days, your stomach will attest for your working in B2B.  

6. Everything can be solved in 'five ways'. And whilst you long ago realised this is probably quite a reductive format, you've accepted the reasoning of our demigod, SEO. 

7. You and your customers are relentless self-educators. You'll already have read five of their whitepapers, three of their blogs and probably even listened to a couple of their webinars before you've met them, and will still feel like you've got a hell of a lot to learn.  

8. Wanting to reply: '...but is it measurable?' regardless of the statement made.

9. When you've given up trying to explain what you do to your friends and family. "You know brands like GE, SAP and JP Morgan?" "No." "Ah, okay. Well at some point they need to purchase products or services from, or sell their own products and services to, other businesses. A business-to-business (B2B) marketer's job is to promote and sell the products or services of whichever businesses they're working for." "Your sister's doing well for herself..."

10. You've come to accept 'value add' as a phrase and have moved on with your life. It might have taken a week, months or even years, but at some point you just gave up caring. 

11. You have an irrational, if slightly tongue in cheek, hatred for B2C marketers. The bastards.