Staines rebrands to attract business

Staines has undergone a rebrand in order to attract more business.

The Surrey town shall now be known as Staines-upon-Thames as councillors felt it was tainted by Sacha Baron Cohen’s character Ali G, who was from the town and leader of ‘Da West Staines Massiv’.

Colin Davis, one of its councillors, told the BBC, “Ali G may have had a role, but I think it goes back further than that. I regard Ali G as someone who put Staines on the map, we’re just telling people where it is.”

Although not everyone is happy about the name change, Steve Parsons, the club secretary of Staines Town Football Club, has told the press, “The council have decided they don’t want to be linked with the Ali G show. But the one they need to worry about is ‘Keeping Up Appearances’, where Mrs Bucket changed her name to Bouquet. I think it is as pretentious as that.”

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